Never Become A Grim Reaper
by Blondejoke101
Summary: Being a Grim Reaper is hard work, having to deal with those killed/purified by the Shinigami is never easy but Frank and I have it the worst out of all of them. Not GrimmIchi.


**A/N: I own nothing from Bleach!**

Let me tell you something right now friend. Never, _never _become a employee under the Grim Reaper Corporation. _NEVER. _Do you hear me? _NEVER!!!!! _Or at least, if you feel that it is your death's (as opposed to life's) calling, never work in the Fielding and Re-Placement Department. _**NEVER!!!!!**_

You see, friend, it is the most miserable job you will ever take. Your first day on the job you will be assigned to a couple of shinigami ( or death gods if you will) and you will be responsible for the Re-Placement of every single person that the Shinigami kill/purify, however long or short their life is because you never know when they will suddenly pick up their sword again and kill/purify someone after 10, 20, or 100 years. Can you imagine the look of shock on Bill's face (Bill being the "Grim Reaper" assigned to Isshin Kurosaki) when Grand Fisher walked into his office after 20 years of Bill doing nothing but sitting behind his desk studying internet porn?

Anyway it is the job of the "Grim Reaper" to assign the plus or hollow that the Shinigami has killed/purified to their new life, based off of the balance of souls between Soul Society and Earth.

Now we don't just place them randomly in the two worlds, we actually have a list we work off of, that change based off of the deaths/purifications and Re-Placement of the souls. It is completely computerized and when the "Grim Reaper" gets the certain person they have to Re-Place an area they are supposed to be placed pops up. But that doesn't stop mistakes from happening. Sometimes two people will get sent to the same place, because the same place popped up on two different computers. If that happens and they get sent to Soul Society, it's okay because people just really pop up there how they died and continue to live their "life" albeit a very different one, but if that happens in the human world you get twins, and in very rare occurrences someone will have been very unlucky and end up with eight children at once (Nadya Suleman ring a bell?).

I didn't envy the people from the Assignment Dispatch Office that day. Many people were fired for that one though I was not allowed to transfer over, no matter how much I begged and offered to accept a pay cut.

Now I'm betting you're wondering why I have such a problem with this life, why I am warning you against it. If you are assigned to a Shinigami then you are pretty much screwed to get all of the insane ne'er-do-gooders that the Shinigami kill. And unfortunately for me, the Shinigami I have been assigned to is actually Substitute-Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki. Because of the sheer number of hollows he has killed, and pluses he has sent on, there are two "Grim Reapers" assigned to Ichigo (me and Frank) and there is still a 12 month waiting period to be able to be Replaced into one of the two worlds.

Today I was going to deal with, _*sob*_, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. He is coming in in five minutes. How do I know that? His name just popped up on my computer of course, and his destination.

_Kill. Me. Now. Please. PLEASE?! Where's the window I need air. Screw that, I need to jump out of the window. I will gladly jump out of a twelve story window, if this building had windows. Maybe I could have Grimmjow punch a hole in the wall instead? _

My door banged open and I startled so bad that I flipped backwards over the back of my chair and landed on my back, effectively knocking the wind out of me and making me wheeze.

Grimmjow stalked in, picked me up by the collar of my shirt and sat me back in my chair. "Hurry up and Re-Place me fool, I haven't got all day!" He snarled, throwing himself in the chair at the other side of my desk.

"W- would you like to know wh- where you're go- going?" I stuttered out, as it is mandatory I give them the choice to know. We are allowed to tell them because most people never remember anything they do previous to their Re-Placements. Very rarely will someone remember anything about previous Re-Placements, or "reincarnations" as they can also be known as.

"Just send me, and make it snappy, I don't really know or care, I've been here in that waiting room for 12 months and I want out!"

"Uh- Fine!" I stuttered happy to get him away from me, despite the place I had to send him. I quickly printed his Re-Placement from the computer on a sheet of special paper. Making sure he didn't see it, I folded it in half and held it out to him. "Th- the minute you touch this, you will be R- Re-Placed into your new life. Ma- May it be an en- enjoyable experience." He took it and immediately faded from my office.

I looked down and noticed my hands were shaking so I decided to take a quick break and walk out to the water cooler for a drink. There I noticed Frank, who looked every bit as shaken as I was.

"Hey Frank, what's up with you?" I asked, pouring myself a cup of the water.

"I just had to Re-Place Ulquiorra Cifer. You will not believe where I had to Re-Place him."

"Where?" I asked, thinking nothing could be as bad as where I just had to place Grimmjow.

"He is now to become the son of Ichigo and Rukia Kurosaki. George, are you okay?" He said, looking at me worriedly as I had just dropped my cup.

"Th- that's where I just had to send Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." I said, at which Frank feinted.

~NINE MONTHS LATER~

"Rukia, Ichigo, you are the proud parents of two beautiful bouncing baby boys." The doctor said, handing one to each parent.

"Have you thought of names, Rukia?" Ichigo asked.

"I'm thinking Lucifer and Jack. What do you think?" She said.

"I think that they are beautiful names, though I'm wondering which one of us Jack got his blue hair from." He said with a bemused expression on his face.

"Well where did you get your orange hair, Ichigo?" she asked.

"Good point, the Kurosaki's always have had weird hair genes."


End file.
